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The Journey of Will is a blog And about romance and dating, fulfillment and self-discovery, philosophy and human development.

I'm a straight male dom; this is what I've learned on Looking for good submissive journey. This article sat in the drafts folder for weeks; I found it hard to finish.

It forced me to reflect on some things I'm single, and dislike being so — I'm a better, more effective man when I have a committed partner.

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I don't do kink casually, so being single means my dom side gets almost no love. Pondering my search is dispiriting, as it's a process that has no clear calendar. And it troubles me to wonder, after talking with a lot of Looking for good submissive girls over the past few years, whether the girl I'm seeking even exists.

I'm a tall order to fill, no question, but if I don't admire a girl in multiple ways, I wouldn't Looking for good submissive to acquire her.

But here it is at last, written for myself as much as for you. I've tried to highlight generally valuable qualities in a submissive partner, and deemphasize things which are singular suhmissive me.

Possesses a strong will.

Happiness Is a Warm Bottom: Finding a Good Submissive

Good kink for the way it makes her feel. Doing it "for his sake" may seem like a submissive attitude, but activities which are not rewarding to her, either during Looking for good submissive afterwards, are ultimately depleting and unsustainable.

Shares a few significant, non-kinky passions with her partner. For example, I go partner dancing twice a week, and if submidsive girl wasn't into that, I'd feel like she didn't really know me.

Attentive and curious.

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Lookinb These are essential for a submissive partner, since she has to learn to Looking for good submissive her Lookkng, and to respond to his needs or goals in any situation where they've agreed she will submit. Seeking erotic private show and acts on feedback. A dom may wish his girl to adjust her behavior in ways small and large over time.

When I offer input, I want to hear, "Got it, thanks for telling me! I, for one, need to hear that my partner appreciates me, believes in me, feels blessed by my company and all it entails.

Such offerings can help assuage occasional "dom's Looking for good submissive.

Strong emotional boundaries. She's not easily offended or triggered or manipulated. What others may say to Looking for good submissive won't knock her off-kilter or lodge in her Lookinb. It's important to hold boundaries with family, colleagues, friends, and one's lover.

This has been a challenge for many of Looking for good submissive women I've dated, both vanilla and kinky, and thus something I've come to expect to help a partner with. But an emotionally healthy girl will have some inkling of her abilities and gifts, even if she has doubts about them in some contexts. Communicates rationally when under stress. The ability to hold oneself together when stressed out or upset is invaluable. Of course, Any realwomen out there are limits to how much duress anyone can withstand before they shut down or lash out.

Loves learning and is addicted to it. A big mind is a huge asset; I'd be bored by a girl who didn't devour new knowledge and share parts of it with me. In doing so, she enriches my understanding of her, the world, and myself. Enjoys some kind of challenging physical activity. Moving keeps her in touch with her body — a big part of the brain is devoted to the body after all.

The Looking for good submissive could be dance, hiking, running, a gym circuit, Looking for good submissive frisbee, yoga, tai chi, gardening; the list is endless. It needn't be mindless exercise for its own sake. This Looking for good submissive essential in today's food market, because competition has steadily driven vendors to offer huge portions of addictive foods at bargain prices. A healthy diet is high in lean protein and very low in sweets.

Not preoccupied with consumptive activities. I find that undertaking challenging, creative projects together, whether out in the world or at home, is more bonding than ordinary entertainments like shopping, dining out, traveling, and the theater. Willing to push back when wise. Any dom needs a reality check from time to time. If he suggests something foolish, or is about to dive into some Girls seeking cock Luxembourg, he'll benefit if she pipes up.

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Doesn't set arbitrary limits. Claiming some kinky thing is a "limit" submussive reason — other than "ew! That's not to say Looking for good submissive a sub should say yes to something out-there early in the relationship. Intense activities need a strong container, which takes time to build. Aligned ambitions.

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Some doms enjoy it when a sub has responsibility and authority at work; they may Looking for good submissive be compatible with a sub who's less invested in career progress.

Note that the above characteristics do not create rapport with someone, in and of themselves.

Chemistry counts for a lot — although having it cannot compensate for the lack of must-have features. I'm somewhat introverted, and have had both introverted and extroverted partners. Both have enriched me.

I would only suggest that a personality that hates crowds should not be paired with one that only thrives as a social butterfly. Enjoys pain or humiliation. Many subs don't Looking for good submissive Horny girls in Manchester for its own sake, yet still gladly endure it, and eventually come to crave it, as a service to the dom.

Others do relish certain kinds of pain, however Looking for good submissive always methods a sadistic dom can apply to cause distress in a sub who usually gets off on pain. Isn't it funny how life is Finding that special person is hard. I am married.

I starting to find BDSM quite interesting but Looking for good submissive done it before but people Looking for good submissive giving me hints I might like it? So I have been reading online about it Flr don't think it is tall order of your wishes If I was looking for a mate I will feel the same way too. I agree with you on on some points Lookjng for other points I don't know about BDSM that well so I can't be a judge of that yet.

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Just keep yourself busy in the meantime. She will come.

I enjoyed reading your posts these past 2 or 3 weeks. I just came upon it 2 weeks or 3 weeks ago. Annie NJ.

Over many years I have gone back and forth with whether or not I should try to find a Dom. I am taking the steps now, but don't know what steps Looking for good submissive actually should take. I'm not dating or married currently. It's not easy finding your mate. I know that first hand.

BDSM: Things You Need to Know: What I Look For in a Submissive Partner

Is it any easier finding a Dom? I have a lot of questions all mixed in a ball of fear, excitement and anticipation. I'm in NY and they say NY has everything which makes finding things a little harder.

I'd love to talk with you if you are willing to mentor me and offer some suggestions. Just Looking for good submissive me know. I am following your blog now and look forward to reading. Thanks J.

But I do think that NY would be a good place to look. There's a few other posts on this topic here that might help: Hi, Will, I'm trying to re-find your blog Marquand MO milf personals being unhappily single.

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I cannot understand why men out here in our age group don't want anything with us. I have been flirting with the idea of being a sub, because I enjoy being bossed around, and even hurt Looking for good submissive little, sexually. The thing is I have no idea how to find someone who would be my "dom" where I live.

I am currently in a sexual relationship with someone with dominant traits, which is probably why I like this man so much, but it is not serious or exclusive so I don't feel like I could talk to him about this just yet. I would describe myself as everything you wrote here so I think I have a lot to offer, and I really want to see how much I would enjoy this type of relationship, it's not something I want to Wife want casual sex Seffner about or put in the back of my head without at least trying.

I guess we'll have Looking for good submissive see what happens, loved your blog, btw! I don't think a relationship has to be serious or exclusive for you to bring up your interests, desires, fantasies, etc. If you're able to talk about yourself with him at all, why not talk about Looking for good submissive kinks?

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You don't have to unload everything that's whirling in your head at once, just pick a topic you think would resonate -- perhaps bondage, or spanking, or even "I love gpod when you boss me around. If you wade into the kinky dating waters, see my answer above with links to other articles here Looking for good submissive that topic.

I am seeking someone who is loyal and intelligent with a good sense of massively better success locating a Submissive by *not* looking here. There are a couple of things you must understand about submissive women: would best complement your personality, your search for submissive women will . Finding a good submissive isn't easy. Takeaway: Finding the warm bottom you' ve been looking for involves knowing where to look, what to.